Communion Of Dreams

I’m tired.  No, make that I’m weary – not just from lack of sleep, but that deep weariness of being on a long campaign of any sort, in this case three & a half years as a full time care-giver.

I wrote a couple weeks ago about our previous experience with Hospice for my mother-in-law (MIL).  Well, as reflected in that post, we’d seen a downturn in her condition, notably the tendency to sleep a lot more.  Couple that with increasing comments from her following naps that she had been with her parents (who have been dead for decades) and that they “wanted her to come home”, and we sensed that perhaps she was entering into the end of life.  We contacted her doctor, discussed the matter with him last week.  He agreed with us, prescribed Hospice once again.

This morning we had a visit from the case manager (a nice woman named Jann) from a different health organization than the one we used previously.  We went over my MIL’s condition, expressed our concerns about what our experience had been last year, discussed options.  According to her, my MIL fits well into the guidelines for Hospice admittance under the ‘debility’ criteria, and there’s little chance that she would ‘graduate’ from Hospice care under those criteria.

So, we’re giving this another try.  My wife and I are good care-givers, and have done this job well for these past years.  But now having the resources of Hospice available is a comfort, so long as I feel that I can trust it.  Knowing that we have someone to call who can advise and assist as needed comes as something of a relief, and I find myself a little overwhelmed.

And for some odd reason, more weary than when I got up from being on call this morning.  Tension-release, I suspect.

Jim Downey