Hi. Yeah, it’s me. Got back to KC a little bit ago. Uh-huh. Just left the airport. Should be home by 10:30. But I don’t think we’re going to make it. No. See, the windshield is covered with ice, and the driver doesn’t want to pull over to get it fixed. No, I mean really covered. *Really covered.* I think the driver’s driving by E.S.P. or something. Uh-huh. Yeah. I’m just laying down because I don’t want to see it when we die.
That was from the idiot woman who sat behind us in the shuttle from Kansas City. Who felt it incumbent upon her to call several friends and family members and relay that particular narrative of our imminent demise.
Well, obviously we made it home. But the first 75 miles or so of the shuttle trip were more exciting than I care to have my life these days. No, the driver wasn’t using ESP. He just scrunched down in his seat, looked through his steering wheel, through the roughly 1/3 lower part of the windshield which was staying sorta clear of ice, thanks to the combined efforts of the blasting defrosters and the abused windshield wipers. Which made a “SCHINK-schink” rasping sort of noise as they scraped over the growing continents of ice on the windshield. Seriously, that’s what they looked like – there was a nice smear of Africa in front of the driver, with a nearly perfect Indian subcontinent over on the right, followed by a general vague outline of Asia as we all more or less remember it from grade school and news stories. What was particularly exciting was that the light of oncoming traffic would cause the whole Northern Hemisphere of ice to glare brightly, making it impossible to see the road through the thin strip of windshield warming below. But that was offset by the fact that during the dark periods the driver would *speed up* to make up for lost time. And there were a fair number of dark spells, since the weather had turned so bad that even the insane drivers of Kansas City were smart enough to get off the road.
Ah well. We made it. I gave him a tip for the extra excitement when he dropped us off at the house about an hour later than we should have gotten home.
More about my Northern California adventures later. After I’ve calmed down and recovered from the drive home.
(Cross posted to UTI.)
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