Communion Of Dreams


Plans and preparations.

I came downstairs yesterday morning a little after 6:00 to discover from the home health aide that my MIL had not been up all night. This has happened a couple of times recently, and usually she calls or rustles around enough to indicate that she wants to get up and use the potty sometime shortly thereafter.

But not yesterday. She was quiet, sleeping until my wife and I went in to check on her. And she didn’t want to get up at her usual time of 8:00, sleeping until 9:30. Then she had a light breakfast and went back to bed, sleeping until noon, when she had some lunch and then again back to bed. Then she slept until 4:30. When I got her up then, her cyanosis was the worst it has yet been, her entire fingers a disturbing deep blue, as were her feet. This indicates a level of generalized hypoxia that shows just how poorly she is doing.

At no point whenever she was awake did she know just where she was. She kept thinking that she was on a train, or wondering where her car was, asking about when she was going to go home. We played along as best we could.

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

I sent this to a good friend last night:

Anyway, then dishes, got my MIL to bed, et cetera. Now, catch up on some email, do a bit of surfing. I need to start doing some research, find a good online source for learning a bit of survival Spanish.

Why? Well . . .

You probably already know about the North American Welsh Choir tour to Patagonia next October. And you may know that in return for my wife coordinating all the reservations and money and whatnot on the Choir’s end, she is getting her cost of the trip offset (in full, it looks like). Just in the last few days I’ve decided that I am going to go along.

Yeah, surprises me a bit, as well. I have no desire to go to South America. I have never had any desire to go to South America.

But my MIL is going to die soon. And late this year I should have decompressed from that, and been working hard for months being a good little book conservator, maybe an author. It will be a good time to challenge myself in a new way, get out of my comfort zone. This tour will be a good opportunity to do that. Plus my wife and I haven’t had anything approaching a real vacation in a couple of years, and we didn’t do anything to celebrate our 20th anniversary last October. So, this will serve that purpose as well.

So, I guess I should learn some survival Spanish. It is only courteous. And doing that won’t hurt me, either. Neither will pushing myself to get in better physical condition for the trip – something I am planning on for all the other good reasons I know, but this will provide additional incentive.

It’s odd to be thinking ahead this way, to a time when my MIL will no longer be with us, no longer our hour-to-hour responsibility.

But if you know of a good online tutorial for Spanish, let me know.

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

She seems somewhat better this morning. She slept well last night, but wanted to get up to use the potty at 4:30 this morning (I was on-call). I checked her temperature then, and it was almost three degrees above normal. But her hands were their normal color, with just a trace of blue under her fingernails.

And she was anxious to get up and have breakfast at her usual time, though a bit reluctant to get her weekly bath after. During her bath, my wife reported a return of the more noticeable cyanosis. After, she was limp and sleepy, barely able to stay awake while we got her dressed and back into bed.

I just checked on her, helped her get settled in a new position in bed. She is getting weak enough that she has difficulty just rolling over sometimes. This time she was also worried about whether she was going to disturb the person who was sleeping next to her. I told her it was OK – they would understand.

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

It’s odd – making plans to be gone traveling this fall, yet being very tentative about what I am going to be doing this afternoon. Like so much of my life these days, it is the exact inverse of what anyone would consider ‘normal’. But so it goes.

Jim Downey


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[…] under: Fireworks, Humor, Music, North American Welsh Choir, Patagonia, Society, Travel As you might recall, I’m joining my wife for the North American Welsh Choir tour of Patagonia the second half of […]

Pingback by Well, this is exciting. « Communion Of Dreams

[…] wasn’t something I particularly had ever wanted to do.  But I decided to go.  As I put it back in January: You probably already know about the North American Welsh Choir tour to Patagonia next October. And […]

Pingback by Jim Downey and the Federation of Silver. « Communion Of Dreams

[…] going to Patagonia in about 10 weeks. My wife has been considering taking her laptop, since she is part of the […]

Pingback by For no reason at all. « Communion Of Dreams




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