Communion Of Dreams


More tears.
July 17, 2008, 10:03 pm
Filed under: Alzheimer's, Hospice, Writing stuff

(This post has been expanded and rewritten.)

Been a long week.  I mentioned the other day that it had been a rough day for me personally.  That was the 37th anniversary of my mom’s death in a car accident.  It’s always an emotional day, but it hit me harder this year than it has for a long time, probably because of Martha Sr’s death early this year.

In addition to that, we’re in the midst of doing a massive re-arranging of the house, following the division of the household possessions.  It’s more than a bit of a juggling act, because at the same time we’re having to deal with things still here that no one in the family wanted.  The chaos of having my home environment thus disrupted is hard on me, but the whole thing is harder on my wife, who now has the unenviable task of going through all her mom’s remaining things and deciding what to do with it all.  Because with each dress, each photograph, each trinket, there is emotion, made tangible. To shed these things feels a little bit like abandoning the memory of her mom.

* * * * * * *

Whew.

I just finished going through and editing all the posts related to caring for Martha Sr, up to her death. It’s something I’ve been working on the last couple of days, part of the preparation for getting that material in shape to be a book I am collaborating on with someone else (more on that later).

Almost a hundred posts. Something like 40,000 words.

And an untold number of tears.

Wow.  She was a remarkable woman. It was a phenomenally rewarding experience. I hope that I am able to convey that.  I hope that what I have to say will help others get through, perhaps even to cherish, the time they spend caring for a loved one this way.

But for now, I’ll have a drink, and cry.

* * * * * * *

Jim Downey


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[…] Daily Kos, General Musings, Health, Preparedness, Publishing, Society, Writing stuff, movies I mentioned in passing last week that I was working on all my care-giving posts for a book.  Here’s a bit more […]

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