Communion Of Dreams


“There,” says he, “if that line don’t fetch them, I don’t know Arkansaw!”*
December 23, 2009, 3:59 pm
Filed under: Bad Astronomy, Humor, Mark Twain, Phil Plait

Gods, this is funny:

Q: Is the ButtCandle really a candle?
A: Yes, but not necessarily what you might picture as your dining room table variety of candle. In length and diameter, it’s similiar to common candles. However, a hollow channel is cut from bottom to top which causes air to be drawn from the base to the top. In practice, this creates a vacuum at the base which, when inserted in the rectum, gently dislodges intestinal and rectal blockage.

That’s from the ButtCandle FAQ.

Yup. ButtCandle. Which is just like it sounds. A candle that you stick in your butt, then light “with the 10″ wooden match that is provided.” You know, like those silly “Ear Candles” that you can find in woo-shops? Which is how I stumbled across it, over on Phil Plait’s site.

Don’t use it after having chili, though.

Jim Downey

*OK, this is a passage from Twain, which was originally referencing a bawdy story that was popular in the 19th century about a vaudville performance featuring some git with a candle stuck in his butt who pranced around on stage with the thing lit. Yeah, I know, obscure. Blame it on grad school.


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