Communion Of Dreams

Still flat.
July 27, 2011, 9:50 am
Filed under: Alzheimer's, Bipolar, Book Conservation, Failure, Marketing, Publishing

I mentioned a week ago that I felt “flat”. I still do.

On our walk this morning I was thinking about it, after mentioning to my Good Lady Wife that I felt about ‘half a bubble off’ and that I just didn’t ‘fit into my skin right’ that this is likely just my normal lowpoint in my bipolar cycle. The timing is right, the feeling is right. I hadn’t really noticed it because I had been working so hard to stay focused on getting Her Final Year ready for publication, with all the creative energy that generated.

Work that meant I got very little other, paying, work done, I should add. Meaning that I’m feeling more than a little financial pressure to boot, of the ‘short-term-cash-flow’ variety. That we’ve sold a grand total of 9 books so far isn’t helping my frame of mind – making me more than a little nervous that this is all going to turn out to be one more of my brilliant ideas which is a complete fiasco.

Like I said – hitting or heading towards the lowpoint in my bipolar cycle. Charming, isn’t it?

Ah, well. I know how to walk through this. Focus on the things I *can* do. Conservation work. Marketing the book by writing about it in the proper venues. Water my garden. Put one foot in front of the other. Try and stay healthy, and hope for the best.

We’ll see what happens.

Jim Downey

3 Comments so far
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I think I understand how you feel. I’ve been working on an MS thesis from midmorning to late night, and finally got it into shape where I could hand it off to my thesis committee. The following few days I was useless, deflated… flat. Completely flat. I think the time immediately following a huge, sustained effort is dangerous for those of us with mental health issues, even if they’re normally “well-controlled”.

Comment by Karen

Absolutely, Karen. And congrats on getting to that point with your thesis!

Comment by James Downey

[…] I worry. Well, I’m prone to it. […]

Pingback by “… don’t you worry anymore.”* | Her Final Year

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