Communion Of Dreams

It’s brilliant. Brilliant, I tell you!
February 7, 2012, 10:24 am
Filed under: Failure, Humor, Politics

Today is election day in Missouri. Yup, we are holding a completely pointless Primary. I say that because due to a campaign trail mix of politics, ineptitude, inertia, and simple waste the election is nothing more than a beauty contest: there will be no delegates won, there is mercifully little political advertising, and most of the GOP candidates have completely ignored the state.

And this morning, I had an idea. A brilliant and cunning idea. One which would have been entirely too much fun to have done. Unfortunately, note the past tense verb there. That’s because I needed to have had this idea a month or two ago. And I didn’t. Oh well, might as well share it anyway: Think how much fun it would have been to organize a write-in candidacy for the Primary. We could have set up Facebook and Twitter accounts to promote The Chosen One. Get thousands of people to pledge to go to the polls today, maybe bring poll workers a box of donuts or something. And we could turn this pointless election into a bit of performance art. And our write-in candidate could at least provide a good laugh.

No, it wouldn’t be me. And not Mickey Mouse or anything like that. I’m thinking someone all the Republican candidates love, and most of the GOP faithful revere: Ronald Reagan.

Of course, since President Reagan is dead, we’d have to run him as the Undead candidate. Yup, Zombie Reagan.

This would tie in with the zeitgeist perfectly. And wouldn’t it have been fun to listen to NPR have to report that Zombie Reagan had won the Primary? We could make jokes about how he would be more lifelike than Mitt, and make more sense in his speeches than Newt. Ricky would like him because he’d be pro-(after)life. And Ron (no, the other Ron) would envy his hair.

Damn, why didn’t I think of this a couple of months ago???

Jim Downey


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