Communion Of Dreams


You can never be too rich or too tall.*
May 27, 2014, 9:44 am
Filed under: Health, Humor, Science, Society | Tags: , , , , , , , ,

The doctor looked up from her laptop, where the patient’s medical history was displayed. “Have you been doing those exercises we discussed?”

“Every day. Well, most days. I miss doing them sometimes if I’m traveling or if the kids are running late in the morning.”

“You do understand that they’re really important, right?” She looked her patient right in the eye. “Every. Single. Day.”

He looked down at his feet, dangling off of the exam table. “Sorry. I’ll try and do better.”

“I certainly hope so.  Lifespan is correlated with how tall you are. Short people just do not live as long.” She glanced at the laptop again. “Now, how about your meds & vitamin supplements? Taking those?”

The patient didn’t look up. “The vitamins, yes. Religiously. But the prescriptions … they’re *SO* expensive. My insurance company doesn’t cover them, because my shortness is considered a lifestyle choice.”

The doctor shook her head. “Yeah, I know. Medical science still considers height as being only partially due to genetics. But still, you really have to do your best. Take the meds. I’ll get you some free samples — the sales reps are always leaving that stuff for us.”

“Thanks.” He looked up. “Doc, what do you think of maybe the surgical option?”

“Surgery?”

“Yeah.”

“Does your insurance cover it?”

“Surprisingly, yes. Well, not here in the States.”

“What do you mean?”

“They’ve got a thing set-up with a clinic in India: for the whole six-month breaking & lengthening process, they cover it. Lots less expensive than here in the US.”

The doctor made a face. “I know they’re supposed to do good work … ”

“Doc, they can add two inches to my overall height.”

“Yes, but at what risk?”

“Not much. Not too different than having it done here.” His face brightened a bit. “I’m not getting any younger. You know what a difference it can make for dating and career. Just think … I could be almost six foot tall!”

The doctor sighed. “Look, I know this is hard. But stick with the stretching exercises and meds I’ve prescribed. Maybe start going to a rack therapist — they can usually add up to an inch in the course of a year.”

“Yeah, OK.”

“And watch your diet. Stay away from those short sugars. Proteins are long. Makes a difference.”

 

Jim Downey

*With apologies to Her Grace.

 

Advertisements

Leave a Comment so far
Leave a comment



Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s



%d bloggers like this: