Communion Of Dreams


Machado-Joseph Disease: oops.

As I’ve mentioned, I’m in a long-term project to repair and repaint our 1883 historic home. Most days I put in several hours of work on it, according to what my symptoms allow.

The pic above was from yesterday, just as I was getting to work on painting the ceiling of our large carport. The six-foot stepladder is sufficient for this chore, though not ideal — I need to hold onto the roller pan or paint bucket while I work above my head. Well, just as I was getting started, I went up the ladder … and promptly dropped the roller pan. It just slipped out of my hand.

Now, like everyone, I’m occasionally clumsy. Always have been. And I’ve made bigger messes than that shown.

But in the past, my clumsiness has always been related to some other factor. I was distracted. Or I was doing something I knew was marginally safe/balanced. I’d drank too much. I had a migraine. I hadn’t slept. Et cetera.

Not this time. I felt fine. I’d had a good morning, getting in my walk and exercises. I’d had breakfast, and was sufficiently caffeinated. I’d set up everything properly to paint, and the ladder was stable. There were no unusual or unpredictable factors at play.

Except MJD.

And that was enough. My hand … just let go.

As I picked up the roller and tray, and cleaned up the mess, I was pissed off. And feeling very, very fragile. It was a rude reminder that I have a disease I can’t control. All I can do is manage the symptoms to the best of my ability.

In the end, it was just an hour or so delay before I got to painting. And a lesson in not taking things for granted I have always taken for granted.

Jim Downey


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[…] (pre-Covid). I wasn’t miserable, but I was painfully aware of just how fragile I was feeling (as noted recently). Just being around people was work — even moreso than my usual introvert reaction to such […]

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