The ballistics testing is finished. Well, sort of. As I mentioned yesterday, the primary goal was to get through the barrel-chopping tests, get all the data from that, and to worry about the ‘real world’ guns sometime later. And we accomplished that. Early on, as we were cruising along, it looked like we might wrap up really early, perhaps mid-day.
Of course, it couldn’t possibly work out that way.
Just as we were down into the 3″ barrel lengths, disaster struck: the mounting rail for the laser busted loose. And not just a little bit – the mounting screws stripped out, and there was no way to fix it short of machining in new threads on the receiver. That’s not the sort of thing you can do out in the field.
Remember I said this, yesterday:
We have four more ‘flights’ of ammo to test today (we did six yesterday), going from barrel lengths of 5″ down to 2″. When we get to the point where the length of the barrel is less the the housing of the receiver (the pistol), things get tricky, but the aiming laser will help a lot.
Um, oops.
And of course, the thing didn’t fail all at once. We got to go through that wonderful process of noticing the impending disaster and trying to cope with it, using this or that strategy, each attempt sorta working for a little while before failing. That took about two hours. And just when we thought we had it secured, a shot with one of the powerful calibers (I think it was a .45 Colt) sent the thing flying in recoil.
Steve, who probably has the most experience as a shooter of any of us, figured that he might as well see if he could shoot the pistol, sans laser. And sans any other sort of sight. Even without the benefit of a barrel, since once we got to that point, the short little bits of barrel were *down inside* the housing of the Thompson/Center Encore pistol (look down to ‘Number 1842’ to get an idea of what just the housing looks like – it’s the part without a barrel or anything attached, off on the left side).
This, needless to say, was going to be a difficult accomplishment, for just a few shots. Doing it for a couple hundred data points (shots were only considered “good” if we got comparable readings from both chronographs), using always-changing types of ammo and different calibers, almost impossible.
But Steve did it. We decided that his secret ‘super power’ is the ability to shoot amazingly well in really dumb situations.
So, we got it done. Got all the data we considered critical for the project. Packed up the stuff we didn’t want stolen, and what needed to go back to Iowa with Jim K, came home. I’ll get the rest of the set up (tent, tables, et cetera) today. And Steve and I will go out sometime in the next week or so and do the ‘real world’ testing, using guns on the market with the same ammo as for the test, which will give us some benchmark comparisons to relate to the ‘ideal’ data.
Big project. The better part of $7,000 worth of ammo, and $5,000 for the custom barrels. Add in another three or four thousand for incidental stuff (lasers, chronographs, generator, chop saw, and so forth). Maybe 250 man-hours of labor for the actual testing component. And we’re still a long ways from being done. We still need to do all the data entry, design a website, write everything up so that all the information – warts, glitches, and errors – is available freely to anyone who is interested in seeing hard data about what the correlation is between barrel length and ammo performance. I’m guessing we still have several weeks before we can say that it is done.
But one hell of a big part of it is accomplished. And that feels really good.
Jim Downey
This is going to be fairly brief – I still have a lot to do this morning and only about an hour to do it.
You know how you feel when you first start a new job, with the uncertainty and intense learning curve? OK, keep that in mind. Now, you know how you feel after a good workout, doing exercise or a bunch of yardwork? Add that in. How about that great feeling of accomplishment, yet exhaustion that comes with finishing a big and difficult project? Add that, too. And lastly, if you are an intensely introverted person, used to being alone about 85% of the time, but switch around to being with people constantly for a week? (Extroverts, I think you’d get a similar feeling by being stranded on a desert island for a week, with no human contact to recharge you.) That’s how I feel. All of it together.
In other words: “Damn, I’m beat.”
The ballistics testing project continues to go very, very well. With a little luck we should wrap it up today. We’ve had a variety of minor glitches, each of which has required some good ol’ Yankee Ingenuity to resolve, but nothing major. The new ‘armour’ protecting the replacement chronographs works – yes, one of us managed to bounce a round right off the top of it (likely would have missed the chronos, but still . . .). The new chronos themselves are a great improvement over what we had been using. The laser has had some problems – good thing we ordered in overnight three additional ones on Thursday, as back-ups. And now that we’ve gotten down to the ‘good parts’ (barrel lengths typical for most defensive handguns), we’re both really excited and really getting pummeled by the effects of the blast of repeated discharges in close quarters.
But we’re coping. Using the box for the portable generator, combined with additional layers of cardboard, we’ve created a ‘blast shield’ to mitigate the worst of the shock wave. All the recording process has gotten smoothed out by experience. The chopping of the barrels continues to be simple. It’s going really, really well. We have four more ‘flights’ of ammo to test today (we did six yesterday), going from barrel lengths of 5″ down to 2″. When we get to the point where the length of the barrel is less the the housing of the receiver (the pistol), things get tricky, but the aiming laser will help a lot. Whether we get to doing tests of ‘real world’ guns with the same ammo today is not too critical, since we can do those on another day with a whole lot less equipment (no need for the chop saw, generator, et cetera). So we should finish the main part of the test today, follow up with the rest later.
Well, gotta run.
Jim Downey
Filed under: 2nd Amendment, Ballistics, Guns, Humor, movies, RKBA, Science, tech, Weather
Ever see what happens to modern electronics when you shoot them with large caliber handguns?
Wait . . . I’m getting ahead of myself.
* * * * * * *
As noted previously, I’ve been busy the last few days getting things ready to start the next round of ballistics testing. Round one was about three weeks ago, and in addition to getting a lot of good data about three of the 13 calibers we’re doing the research on, we also learned a great deal about the testing platform and procedures. Because of that amount of learning, when the three of us got together this week before setting everything up on Wednesday, we decided that we would go ahead and push this weekend to do all the remaining testing.
As a friend said in an email Wednesday night: “Whoa.”
Yeah, because that is 10 more calibers (eight barrels, since the .38 special and .357 magnum bullets use one barrel, and so does the .44 special and .44 magnum). And over 5,000 rounds of ammo.
We’re fortunate in that all three of us (me, Jim K and Steve) are all in situations where we can set aside our work demands for a time and devote our attention to doing this. And in looking at the remaining barrel/ammo combinations, it was clear that there would be some efficiency in doing things all at once – a number of the somewhat more unusual calibers have only two or three types of ammo, meaning that we’d be spending more time swapping out the barrels and chopping them than actually shooting and recording data. So there would be a benefit in getting all those calibers done, then move on to the several calibers where we had a lot of different ammo to test while the other barrels were chopped and prepped (de-burring and modest recrowning to get good consistent results).
And that’s what we did yesterday – dove in head first, in spite of very uncooperative weather (lots of rain and temps in the 40s). Our set-up keeps us out of the wet (we’re using a fair-sized cabin tent for our work area, with the chronographs outside under a protective tarp) but the damp chill still takes a lot of energy out of you. The changes we made to the shooting platform – the addition of an inexpensive target laser – meant that you essentially didn’t need to take the time to aim the thing (once we had it zeroed in), all you had to do was control it with the more powerful calibers.
And before we stopped early in the day, we had gotten to the same point with these remaining 10 calibers as we got on the first day of the previous round of testing with just three calibers.
Now, why did we stop early, if things were going so well?
Wasn’t due to the weather. Not unless you consider a .45 caliber bullet as rain.
What happened was this: one of us (who shall for now remain nameless, until I can spend more time to write up the saga appropriately) was in the middle of shooting the second most powerful of the calibers we’re testing, and didn’t manage to control the gun completely when he fired the round. And it went right through both chronographs. Perfectly.
We use two chronographs, lined up one in front of the other, to be sure we’re getting good data. He hit the first one right dead center, a little high from the middle. Like a perfect shot in a movie, hitting the bad guy right between the eyes. The large bullet punched through the display, destroyed the electronics, and shattered the back of the chrono – then entered the front sensor of the second chrono, exiting out the bottom rear sensor as well.
It was spectacular. A perfect shot. I have pix I’ll be posting later.
But it meant we were done for the day. No chronographs, no way to measure the velocity of the bullets.
But such things are available here, and we’ll pick up a couple more units this morning. And we’ll be getting the kind which have a remote readout – meaning that it’s just the sensors in the line of fire, the electronics on our shooting bench. Meaning that we can place some protective armor plates in front of the sensors to prevent this from happening again.
Meaning that we’ll just have to find a new and improved way of screwing up. 🙂
More when I get the chance.
Jim Downey
Well, in spite of my optimism in my last post, it took us three full days to get through the first set of ammo/caliber tests, about one-third of the total we’re doing for this extensive research project.
Why? Well, we kept running into a number of minor problems which would slow us down as we thought through how to resolve them. Most of these pertained to difficulties with the base platform on which the whole tests are being conducted: a Thompson/Center Encore pistol. Don’t get me wrong – the gun is great, and the custom gunsmithing we had done on it to make it more suitable for our testing was fine. For the most part. But with any new gun, it takes a little while to get used to it, to learn what quirks and special needs it has. And in this case, the interchangeable custom 18″ barrels also complicated things, once they started getting chopped short. (For a basic description of the project, check here.) There were two main problems which cropped up: difficulty in managing a gun in which the (very) short barrel is essentially hidden by a shroud; and aiming such a beast.
The original design had no sights whatsoever on it – well, when you are aiming an 18″ barrel down the range and only need to be able to hit a dinner-plate sized target 15′ away, it should be simple, right? It was. But as the sight radius dropped lower, it became increasingly difficult to aim the thing. Particularly since the way the individual barrels mounted into the gun uses a large knurled nut – which would randomly obscure your vision. Add in the fact that while our cut-off saw was quick and effective for chopping the barrels one inch at a time, it was not a gunsmith-quality tool. We would ‘dress’ the chopped barrels, to remove slight burrs and whatnot, but even a slight angle on the chop can throw off a bullet. Basically, after each cut, we would have to learn all over how to point the thing, and hope for the best.
Which led to some hilarious results. All three of us – with over a century of combined experience in shooting all manner of weapons under a wide variety of conditions – actually managed to clip the vanes of the two chronographs (the bits that stick up like old television antennas). I got two vanes within about four shots – one on each side!
Our first effort to get around this aiming problem was to install a Weaver rail on the top of the pistol barrel housing (into which the individual barrels mount). This 4″ long U-shaped mount protruded past the front of the barrel, and in theory would give us something to sight down. In theory. But just when we would learn how using it related to where the bullets went, the thing would loosen up and shift a bit – and we didn’t have the appropriate loc-tite stuff needed to secure it.
We did finish up testing three full calibers, though: .380 ACP, 9mm Luger, and .40 S&W. Altogether, we recorded data for almost 2,000 rounds, including a number of ‘benchmark’ rounds to test the chronographs, as well as a data for several ‘real world’ pistols we own. And each round had data from two chronographs, specs from the ammo (bullet weight, lot #, manufacturer, brand), ambient temperature, and any additional notes we felt were needed. A lot of work, not always under the best weather conditions (yesterday it rained all day, and temps were in the mid 30s with a stiff wind).
But we got through it, and already this data would be a priceless contribution to the gun-using world. And it was a load of fun to do, working with two other people who are more knowledgeable than I am about guns (and I’m no neophyte) and share my joy at coming up with solutions to practical problems. As my buddy Steve said, there were enough difficulties come up to keep it from ever getting in the least way boring.
Combine the hard work and concentration of conducting the tests for 8-9 hours a day with evenings of good companionship, and I am one tired puppy. I’m glad that we won’t be conducting the next round of tests until the beginning of April.
But wow – when this is all done, documented, graphed, and put on a website for free access to anyone interested in the result – people are going to go nuts.
Or so I hope.
Jim Downey
From a note I sent a friend last night:
Yes, it rained. And rained. And then rained harder. Surely you can guess how the progression goes?
But we managed quite well. Thanks to a little advance planning, we had all the materials necessary to cope with the rain (in terms of keeping the wet off of the chronographs, which have to be out between the gun and the target).
And the rest went really well, also. Today was the steep part of the learning curve, but by the end we were really cranking along. We should finish up the first three calibers tomorrow (about 1/3 of the total ammo to be tested). And then get a start on the next batch. Which we should finish up this weekend. With a little luck, that’ll be about 2/3 of the data we want to collect. If so, just one more session in April will be needed to wrap it up, and then the hard work of compiling and constructing the website, all the writing and editing and stuff.But still, it went *really* well today, and all three of us are happy but tired from the effort.
Did I mention it went well?
It did indeed. Given that we have something on the order of 7,000 rounds of ammo for testing, if we can wrap it all up with just two testing sessions, that will be remarkable. Granted, it’s a lot of work, but it is a lot more doable than I had feared. By the end of the testing yesterday, we were cranking along at about 10 seconds per shot, complete with recording the data, popping out the spent cartridge (the test platform is just one shot, for simplicity and control of mechanical factors), reloading and preparing the next shot. After each three-shot group of a given type of ammo, we would then run a Bore Snake through the barrel to start with a fresh barrel for the next batch. Chopping the 1″ thick barrels with the abrasive cut-off saw went fine, with only minor glitches, and the process of dressing the end of the barrel was as a result very simple and quick. We got good data from the chronos, and were already starting to see some interesting results from the testing. This information is going to be hugely beneficial to the gun community, once we have everything done, sorted, and published online.
Today the weather is supposed to be nice – about sixty and partly sunny. Tonight storms roll through again, temps drop, and we may have snow mixed with the rain tomorrow morning. Charming.
Jim Downey
Filed under: 2nd Amendment, Ballistics, Book Conservation, Guns, RKBA, Science, Weather
Sorry things have been a bit sparse. Monday and Tuesday I was busy wrapping up some conservation work for MU Special Collections’ Adopt-A-Book program (and you can see some of my work results on the ‘adopted’ page). I delivered those Tuesday afternoon, then went and bought a generator.
A generator? Yup. And a chronograph, lots of sandwich items, a couple of sawhorses, some plastic drop cloths, some more bore snakes, and various and sundry items. Because today we’re starting the ballistics testing I have mentioned before. The last several days have been very busy with running around and getting some of the various items we needed, and then yesterday me and my two buddies with whom I am doing this test went out to the site and started setting things up. Everything is coming together very nicely, and it is pretty exciting to finally be starting this project we first conceived of over a year ago.
This morning we have a lot more stuff to load up and lug out to the testing site (private land about 20 minutes south of here). With a little luck, the forecast rain will hold off long enough for us to get set up and settled in (we’re working out of a large cabin tent, which should deal with the weather adequately so long as we’re not facing a deluge). Once we’re set, rain shouldn’t matter.
So, busy here. I’ll try and post a bit each morning before going out to do the day’s testing (we’re doing tests through Saturday), but I won’t have a lot of time to do any real research or extensive contemplation. Not that my usual posts would necessarily make you think I did this anyway, but there you are.
So, later. Whenever.
Jim Downey
Filed under: 2nd Amendment, Ballistics, Civil Rights, Guns, RKBA, Science, tech, Wired
In email discussion with a friend the other day, I realized that I had left something dangling which I had meant to address here some time back. Here’s the relevant email exchange:
I am really glad to hear that you are getting well enuff to get out and blow off some cordite.
Ayup. That was one of the things that helped keep some shred of sanity for me the last couple of years. And I am enjoying it even more now that I have a buddy here who shares that interest (and knows more about guns than even I do!)
You may remember that I mentioned a ballistics test that we were planning – here. Well, everything is now proceeding, and in about ten days we’ll do the first batch of tests. Three days of actual shooting time – see how far into it we get, and then schedule however many additional sessions we need in the coming weeks. With over 7,000 rounds of ammo, it’ll take a while to do it all right. By summer we should have all the data and the website set up – it will be a major source of information for the gun world . . .
In looking back at that post, I see that I had intended to discuss more about the project. But of course the fall didn’t go the way I planned, mostly because of the increasing demands of caring for Martha Sr. Oh well.
But now things are in full swing in preparing for the first session of actual testing. We’ll be doing the shooting on private land, and are deeply into preparing all the logistics necessary (everything from testing equipment to work tables to the chop saw to food & drink) and ironing out our protocols so the data is most valuable. We’ll start setting everything up next Wednesday, then test for three days, and take everything down on Sunday. I am expecting that it will take two more such sessions to complete the tests, but I could be wrong – we’ll just have to see how far we get this first time. It should be an awful lot of fun, as well as a lot of concentrated work – don’t expect me to do a lot of blogging during that time.
Oh, and on the subject of ballistics . . .
Via TDG, this Wired magazine article from last month, about the military’s Barrett M107 long range sniper rifle. It’s somewhat interesting, but misleading in places. This bit:
But the gun’s real selling point is physics. Its big kaboom largely obviates the need for DOPE, data on personal equipment. Putting a bullet into a target takes more than lining up crosshairs — complex equations combine muzzle velocity, ammunition weight, and ballistic coefficient with environmental factors like wind speed and air temperature. But the M107 is so powerful, all I have to worry about is gravity and not flinching when I pull the trigger.
And even the title: “A Goliath Sniper Rifle May Take Some of the Physics Out of War” is just plain wrong. None of the physics are negated. And while the M107 is indeed a powerful weapon (shooting a .50 caliber bullet with over 11,000 foot-pounds of muzzle energy), effects of windage and air temperature are still noticeable at sufficient distances. Even in the article, the author has to have a correction made to the scope alignment to allow for wind. Surprise surprise – physics still works.
Well, anyway, I’m looking forward to doing the testing next week. Almost a vacation of sorts.
Jim Downey
Filed under: 2nd Amendment, Flu, General Musings, Guns, H. G. Wells, Health, Pandemic, Predictions, Preparedness, Science Fiction, Sleep, Society
Wow. It’s been a while since I was this sick, this long. Nothing life-threatening, just the flu that’s going around. Of course, I was completely worn out by the last few weeks of caring for Martha Sr, with no reserves to draw upon to fight this virus, so it comes as very little surprise that I haven’t been able to just shrug off the bug and get better.
It is this sort of experience that drives home the statistics pertaining to how many soldiers over the ages died due to disease rather than battle – I don’t have the numbers right at hand, but generally it has been concluded that at least as many soldiers have died due to illness than from battle related injuries, at least up until the last century. Why? Because soldiers are frequently pushed past the point of physical exhaustion, denied adequate sleep, with poor quality or inadequate food, and under conditions which foster rapid transmission of disease from soldier to soldier.
And that’s one of the things that I always chuckle about when I read about TEOTWAWKI scenarios on this or that forum. Often, particularly when such threads come up on a firearms-related forum, people will get way too preoccupied with guns and ammo, and lose track of the fact that those tools are completely useless if you are too sick or too tired or too hungry to employ them. Get sick, and your superior collection of guns or other tech mean nothing. H.G. Wells knew this, while most of us have forgotten it.
I’ll write more when I am up to it.
Jim Downey
Filed under: 2nd Amendment, ACLU, Artificial Intelligence, BoingBoing, Bruce Schneier, Civil Rights, Cory Doctorow, Expert systems, Fermi's Paradox, General Musings, Government, Guns, Health, Politics, Predictions, Preparedness, Privacy, Science Fiction, Society, Survival, tech, Terrorism, Violence, Wired, Writing stuff
(I’m still fighting a nasty bit of a sore throat and related poor health, so forgive me if this is a little more jumbled and unclear than what I usually post. But I wanted to address the topic, because it is, in many ways, at the heart of some of the issues I try and deal with in he overall scope of Communion of Dreams. That being the case, this post also contains major and minor spoilers about the novel; I will note warnings in advance of each within the text, for those who wish to avoid them.
– Jim D.)
Bruce Schneier has an excellent editorial up at Wired and over on his own blog about how the argument of ‘Security versus Privacy’ in dealing with the threat of terrorism is really better characterized as being about ‘Control versus Liberty’. I would definitely encourage you to read the whole thing, but here is a good passage which sums up what I want to address on the subject:
Since 9/11, approximately three things have potentially improved airline security: reinforcing the cockpit doors, passengers realizing they have to fight back and — possibly — sky marshals. Everything else — all the security measures that affect privacy — is just security theater and a waste of effort.
By the same token, many of the anti-privacy “security” measures we’re seeing — national ID cards, warrantless eavesdropping, massive data mining and so on — do little to improve, and in some cases harm, security. And government claims of their success are either wrong, or against fake threats.
The debate isn’t security versus privacy. It’s liberty versus control.
You can see it in comments by government officials: “Privacy no longer can mean anonymity,” says Donald Kerr, principal deputy director of national intelligence. “Instead, it should mean that government and businesses properly safeguard people’s private communications and financial information.” Did you catch that? You’re expected to give up control of your privacy to others, who — presumably — get to decide how much of it you deserve. That’s what loss of liberty looks like.
Exactly. In many ways, it is a question not of control itself, but *who* is in control. If I am in control of my own privacy, my own security, then I can decide on what limitations I am willing to live with, what trade-offs I will accept. But we do not have that control, according to our government – they do.
That is precisely what was behind this recent post – showing how governments think that they should be in control of our knowledge, as an argument of their power to provide security.
[Mild spoilers in next paragraph.]
This is one of the reasons I set up the whole ‘expert systems/AI’ of the book – so that each expert such as Seth would be dedicated to maintaining a wall in protection of the privacy of his/her client. He is the little ‘black box’ which interacts on behalf of a client in exchanging information/data/privacy with the rest of the world.
[Major spoilers in the next paragraph.]
And, in the larger picture, this is exactly why I set up the whole “embargo” around our solar system – some alien culture has decided, for whatever reason, that it needs to be in control of our knowledge about the outside (and here’s a hint – it also is in control of who knows about us). They have assumed to act on our behalf, without our knowledge or permission – and when Seth, the AI who has shown he is willing to act on behalf of Jon in the first part of the book, becomes in contact with that alien culture, he makes the decision to continue the embargo for at least a while, though with some changes. Up to the point where Seth does this, we are nothing but children – that a ‘child’ of mankind (an Artificial Intelligence of our creation) then steps in to assume this role carries with it not just an inversion of relationship, but also some legitimation of the decision. While I don’t address this specifically in the book, I can see how this might be a ‘standard protocol’ for contacting new, young civilizations – keep them isolated and pure until they develop an artificial intelligence which can make decisions on their behalf with regards to the larger galactic/universal culture. That procedure would make an awful lot of sense, if you stop and think about it.
Anyway, go read Schneier’s essay.
Jim Downey
(Ah, I see Cory Doctorow at BoingBoing has also posted on this – no surprise.)
Filed under: 2nd Amendment, Alzheimer's, Ballistics, Failure, Feedback, General Musings, Guns, Promotion, Publishing, RKBA, SCA, Science Fiction, Society, Writing stuff
My shooting buddy S called me up yesterday morning, wanted to know if I felt like getting out to do a little plinking. Since we had a warm front move through the night before, it was forecast to be in the upper 50s – not your typical January weather for Missouri. A chance to get out and do some shooting was most welcome.
He said that his Brother-In-Law was in town. I knew that S and T (the BIL) had hunted together for years, and that S trusted T not to be an idiot with a weapon, but I didn’t know much about him beyond that. S wanted to know whether it was OK for T to come along, try out some of our pistols. “Sure!”
So we set it up and went out to the range. As is my preference, informal shooting on private land – just tin cans at about a dozen yards for pistols, somewhat further for a little 9mm carbine of mine. Relaxed, laid-back, but still sufficient to keep my skills sharp and my mind off of being a full-time care provider for a few precious hours.
Since I didn’t know T, I wasn’t sure of his proficiency with handguns. And as we were talking about the guns we brought, getting them out and getting them ready, it was clear that he hadn’t ever shot a number of them. This isn’t too surprising, since several of them are somewhat uncommon.
My buddy S and I went first – our guns, make sure everything is working OK. When it was T’s turn, with a casual concentration he outshot us both, with our own guns. Turns out he has a law enforcement background, and still is involved in firearms training. As I noted to a friend in an email last night:
Nice to be shooting with someone that good, who wasn’t trying to be a dick about it. I’m a pretty decent shot, and can be quite good if I push myself into a ‘competition’ mindset. But I would really rather just relax and shoot without having something to prove. S is the same way. But trust me when I say that is somewhat rare – too often the competition bug gets in the way.
T was a state level competitor, but that was some years back. So now he’s relaxed – and good. Probably no where near where he was when he was competing, but that’s OK. Shooting cans at 15 yards was perfectly fine.
* * * * * * * * * * * * *
OK, I’m going to brag a bit. Though it is all true.
When I was heavily involved in the SCA I was *heavily* involved. For a period of maybe about ten years I was known throughout the world-wide organization, in no small amount because of my ability as a fighter in the SCA style of martial arts. I had achieved the highest awards and rankings, acted as the chief officer in charge of all the fighting rules and safety criteria, and had literally written the definitive instruction manual for one particular sub-set of the martial art (greatsword use, if you want to know). I was, simply, one of the best there was. Given that there were tens of thousands of people engaged in this martial art around the world at the time, this was no small accomplishment, though of course in the ‘real’ world it doesn’t amount to anything of note.
But one thing which you might find a bit curious: in an organization where the basic measurement of skill is winning within the context of a tournament (patterned somewhat loosely on chivalric tourneys of the Middle Ages), I only won exactly four tournaments in my entire SCA career. Two of those were ‘Crown Tourney’, in which the ‘ruler’ for a six month period is chosen, and two others were other somewhat prestigious tournaments. But that’s it.
* * * * * * * * * * * * *
Eric Zorn of the Chicago Tribune posted a piece last week titled “50 things I’ve learned in 50 years, a partial list in no particular order.” It’s kind of fun, and while I disagree on a few points, as I approach my own 50th birthday later this year I find it’s a list I pretty much could have come up with myself. In particular, he notes this:
38. In crisis or conflict, always think and act strategically. Take time to figure out what the “winning” outcome is for you, then work toward it.
I learned this long ago as applied to all of life, phrased simply as “define your victory conditions”. It has meant a somewhat less conventional life for me, mostly free of the trappings of “success.” And I’m OK with that.
* * * * * * * * * * * * *
My friend responded to my email about shooting yesterday with this:
Nice to be shooting with someone that good, who wasn’t trying to be a dick about it. I’m a pretty decent shot, and can be quite good if I push myself into a ‘competition’ mindset. But I would really rather just relax and shoot without having something to prove. S is the same way. But trust me when I say that is somewhat rare – too often the competition bug gets in the way.
You are men.
Men have testosterone.
It’s very simple math.
My reply:
Over-simplified, actually. It’s more of a mindset.
***
I won four tournaments in my entire SCA career. Crown twice, Valour, and a memorial tourney in Des Moines. That’s it. Yet I had a world-wide reputation, and it was justified. By almost any measure you could devise, I would have been considered an ‘alpha male’ in terms of the prevailing testosterone pop-psych.
Why? For the same reason that I didn’t want to get all competitive with T and S when shooting yesterday: winning things like that just isn’t that important to me. Some guys with *plenty* of testosterone are perfectly happy to define their lives in ways different from the prevailing pop-psych.
My friend’s insightful response:
Although I have noticed that at some level of competence, whatever the subject, people don’t seem to have quite the need to compete that they would otherwise. I’ve run into it myself in some areas. I think that with T and S and you, all of you knew that you’re competent shots and the idea was not to plink off the most cans, but to have fun trying weapons. And that’s what you did. I guess a better way to say it is that when people are comfortable enough in their own skin, their own level of ability in whatever they are doing, they don’t need to compete and can just enjoy participating in the activity.
Is that what you mean?
Exactly.
* * * * * * * * * * * * *
After shooting, we got back to my place, and hung out a while back in my bindery (where I have a large working table where we could set out some guns and whatnot to look at and talk about.) In the course of the conversation, S mentioned to T that I had written Communion of Dreams, and that it was up on the web for anyone to download.
“Doesn’t that make it kinda tough to make any money off of it?” asked T.
“That’s not the point,” I answered.
Because, while I wouldn’t mind selling the book to a publisher, and think that eventually having the book online will help in doing so, that’s not what my ‘victory condition’ is. My victory condition is to have people read the book, find it an engaging and thought-provoking story. Sure, lots of money from having a best-seller would be nice, but in all honesty I can earn a decent income from my book conservation work. My real goal is to be respected as a writer. And if I have to do that in an unconventional way, well, that’s a path I’m used to walking.
Jim Downey
Communion Of Dreams 