I decided not to do formal ‘travelogues’ for my recent trip out to Las Vegas for the SHOT Show, but instead do a series of small vignettes, over the course of the next couple of weeks.
Jim D.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It rained.
It rained more in four days than it rained for all of 2009.
And of course, I was there for it.
* * * * * * *
Well, it’s a good thing that you basically don’t have to go outside when in Vegas. Ever. And that the rain doesn’t present problems for such festivities as taking a gondola ride at the Venetian. Like the Miss America Pageant contestants did.
And I was there for it.
No, seriously. And it was seriously weird.
Me, Jim K, and John E were having some top-notch pizza and a couple of beers at Postrio there in the strangeness that is St. Mark’s Square. When all of a sudden there was some pomp & circumstance happening around us. Of the sort that involves scant clothing on plastic women and men wearing tuxes. One of my dining companions mentioned that he thought the Miss America Pageant was being held the next week, and this must be some kind of preliminary event.
It was. The line of women wandered through the ‘outdoor’ restaurant, just a couple of paces from our table.
I looked up, saw what was going on, then turned my attention back to the pizza. At least that was real.
* * * * * * *
Did you know that there is a Star Trek slot machine game?
And a Star Wars one?
Also ones for Indiana Jones, the Wizard of Oz, and dozens of television shows?
I didn’t. I thought slot machines were all those classic things with just three spinning wheels that contain numbers or symbols.
What a rube from flyover country.
But one morning before I left, I dutifully went over to one machine, donated a $10 bill to it, and played twice.
Oh, sure, I could have gotten a thousand plays at a “penny machine”.
But two hits from that adrenaline pump were quite enough, thank you.
* * * * * * *
My traveling companion needed to get some additional cash the morning we left.
The ATM there on the floor of the casino just gave $100.00 bills.
Tells you all you need to know about the casino business.
Jim Downey
Filed under: Humor
You may have heard something about the nasty cold snap that we’ve been experiencing here in the Midwest. Oh, yeah, it has gotten some attention for making it a bit chilly as far south as Florida, but hereabouts temps have been hovering around zero, with wind chills down into the actually dangerous zone.
Well, yesterday was no exception. We’d gotten about 6″ of fresh snow the night before, and winds had picked up to about 20mph, gusts to almost twice that. Not fit for man nor beast. Nor, I now know, birds.
We’ve got several bird feeders outside our kitchen, in an area adjacent to the carport. Particularly when it is this nasty, I make sure to keep them filled, and all day whenever I passed through the kitchen I could see birds clustering around, all floofy and puffed up, trying to stay in the lee of the wind and eat as much as possible.
So, about sunset I stopped working in my bindery and started to help prep dinner, before I had to go off to a stupid meeting. Part of that entailed collecting the various rinsed-out cans and whatnot and putting them in the recycling bag outside the door to the carport. Gathering up an armful, I moved with deliberation to the back door, opened it, and stepped out into the bloody damned cold.
And behind me, something exploded.
Well, “exploded” in a figurative sense. What happened was there was a Grackle hiding out in the corner there, out of the wind, under one of the shelves that has potting soil and whatnot on it. And I scared the crap out of it. But I was also standing there, screen door blocking the way out from under the carport, me blocking the other way. But there was this nice escape route leading into the house. So, it went inside.
Eleanor, our old-lady cat (she’s 16), had been following me around, wanting some food. And she thought that I had just delivered dinner on the wing, leapt up to catch the Grackle as it came inside.
This did not amuse the Grackle any. It kept going.
My wife, Martha, who was standing in the kitchen, ducked as it flew past her and headed upstairs. By this point I was back inside. My wife looked at me. “What the hell was that??”
The cat mewed. Our dog, Alwyn, came trotting into the kitchen to see what all the excitement was about. He’s the kind of dog that can’t stand to be left out of fun.
Just then the Grackle came back down the stairs, alighted on top of the microwave. Martha again looks at me, like this was some sort of weird joke. I, of course, start laughing my ass off.
Well, Martha started closing doors in the kitchen (there are four, leading off into other parts of the house), to limit the bird’s escape options. Eleanor scrambled around our feet, watching the bird. Alwyn took off, convinced that we were all nuts. I grabbed a towel from the top of the dryer, and after a couple of false starts caught the bird (I wanted to do so gently, not hurt it).
I took the Grackle back to the carport, and released it. With a loud caw! it took off like a bat outta hell. Inside, Eleanor paced around, eyes sharp, wondering where her treat went. Alwyn hid in the front room, certain that somehow he’d be blamed for everything.
We got dinner made, ate. I went off to my meeting, still chuckling.
Jim Downey
*With apologies to Edgar.
Filed under: BoingBoing, Bruce Schneier, Civil Rights, Emergency, Failure, Government, Humor, Predictions, Preparedness, Privacy, Terrorism
the makers of Depends:
In the wake of the terrorism attempt Friday on a Northwest Airlines flight, federal officials on Saturday imposed new restrictions on travelers that could lengthen lines at airports and limit the ability of international passengers to move about an airplane.
The government was vague about the steps it was taking, saying that it wanted the security experience to be “unpredictable” and that passengers would not find the same measures at every airport — a prospect that may upset airlines and travelers alike.
But several airlines released detailed information about the restrictions, saying that passengers on international flights coming to the United States will apparently have to remain in their seats for the last hour of a flight without any personal items on their laps. It was not clear how often the rule would affect domestic flights.
That’s from today’s NYT’s article. Here’s what’s on the TSA site:
The Department of Homeland Security immediately put additional screening measures into place- for all domestic and international flights- to ensure the continued safety of the traveling public. We are also working closely with federal, state and local law enforcement on additional security measures, as well as our international partners on enhanced security at airports and on flights.
The American people should continue their planned holiday travel and, as always, be observant and aware of their surroundings and report any suspicious behavior or activity to law enforcement officials.
Passengers flying from international locations to U.S. destinations may notice additional security measures in place. These measures are designed to be unpredictable, so passengers should not expect to see the same thing everywhere.
And here’s this from a tech news site:
Multiple sources, among them Xeni Jardin of Boing Boing, have also been told that no electronics are allowed on international flights. None. So you can’t even play video games to distract yourself from how badly you have to pee.
Jeez. As I noted back in September, Bruce Schneier has already talked about an ‘underwear bomb’:
For years, I have made the joke about Richard Reid: “Just be glad that he wasn’t the underwear bomber.” Now, sadly, we have an example of one.
Time to invest, I tell ya. The demand for Depends is going to go up. They’re not just for grandma anymore.
Jim Downey
(Cross posted to UTI.)
Or 1-800-Lotta-Posts.
Yup, this is post #800. And since I’ve gone this far, I should at least see it to 910.
OK, I’m in a bit of a silly mood. Blame it on the big muckin’ storm rolling our way.
Anyway, 800 posts. It’s been 6 months since the last big round number, so it looks like I have slowed down some in my posting, but not a lot. Since then, there have been another 12,000 hits to this blog, and about 5,000 more downloads of the novel. I’ll have a final tally on the year after the 1st, but it looks like things have picked up a bit overall in 2009.
Have a Merry Christmas, everyone. Be safe if you have to travel. And try not to let the family drive you nuts.
Jim Downey
Gods, this is funny:
Q: Is the ButtCandle really a candle?
A: Yes, but not necessarily what you might picture as your dining room table variety of candle. In length and diameter, it’s similiar to common candles. However, a hollow channel is cut from bottom to top which causes air to be drawn from the base to the top. In practice, this creates a vacuum at the base which, when inserted in the rectum, gently dislodges intestinal and rectal blockage.
That’s from the ButtCandle FAQ.
Yup. ButtCandle. Which is just like it sounds. A candle that you stick in your butt, then light “with the 10″ wooden match that is provided.” You know, like those silly “Ear Candles” that you can find in woo-shops? Which is how I stumbled across it, over on Phil Plait’s site.
Don’t use it after having chili, though.
Jim Downey
*OK, this is a passage from Twain, which was originally referencing a bawdy story that was popular in the 19th century about a vaudville performance featuring some git with a candle stuck in his butt who pranced around on stage with the thing lit. Yeah, I know, obscure. Blame it on grad school.
Filed under: Civil Rights, Failure, Government, Guns, Humor, Press, YouTube
Well, maybe there is a use for Twitter, after all. Seems that in the middle of the big snowstorm smacking the East Coast, some folks in DC decided to organize a good ol’ fashioned snowball fight. You know, show up, informal sides, throw snowballs at one another. Some 150 – 200 people joined in. And everyone was having just too much fun.
Until some idiot in a Hummer drives through the intersection where this party is going on, and his vehicle gets smacked by a few snowballs. Said idiot jumps out of said Hummer, and draws a gun.
WTF?
Seriously, that’s what happened. There were plenty of witnesses, plenty of pictures, plenty of video. Here’s a good one, where you can clearly see the gun in his left hand:
Nice, eh?
And here’s the *really* good part: the guy in question is a D.C. police detective, tentatively identified as Detective Baylor. But don’t take my word for it, here he is himself:
Rest assured, the DC police administration are on the case:
D.C. police have said they are investigating the incident. Assistant Chief Pete Newsham, who leads the department’s investigative services bureau, has said the detective in question “was armed but never pulls his weapon.” Photos and videos posted online appear to contradict that, though none show the detective pointing his gun at anyone.
* * *
According to Newsham, the detective approached the group of snowball fighters and had “some kind of interaction” with them. He said the detective holstered a cellphone, and someone from the crowd called to report a man with a gun.
“I think what probably happens is somebody probably saw his gun and called the police,” Newsham said.
OK, there are many things wrong with this . . . First, the behaviour of those who threw snowballs at the Hummer, but that’s a pretty mild transgression. Then there’s Detective Baylor’s behaviour is jumping out of his vehicle – again, a fairly mild transgression, and an understandable one for most people. But then the idiot pulled his weapon. Because people were throwing snowballs?? Are you fucking kidding me???
He’s frankly lucky that he didn’t get shot when uniformed officers showed up on the scene, after someone did call in a “man with a gun”. Kudos to the reporting officers for keeping their heads about them, in dealing with Baylor and with the crowd.
But what may even be worse was the knee-jerk reaction of Assistant Chief Newsham in dismissing the reports that one of his detectives behaved in a manner which is completely unacceptable. Supporting your officers is one thing – making statements to the press blankly denying that what happened, happened, is extremely unwise. Detective Baylor may need some anger management classes, or to be moved to a nice desk job or something. Newsham needs to lose some rank or even his job.
Why? Well, because he has just betrayed the public, and even the officers in his department. You deny reality (or jump in prematurely) like this and you show that you cannot be trusted to appropriately investigate any charges against your officers. Do that, and the public will respond appropriately by not providing you their faith and cooperation. Furthermore, and this is the thing that really pisses me off, they won’t trust your officers, either, and not give them their help and cooperation. And cops need all the help they can get.
Jim Downey
(Cross posted to UTI.)
Filed under: 2nd Amendment, Civil Rights, Failure, Guns, Humor, Marketing, Music, RKBA, Society, Survival, Violence
When you get in trouble and you don’t know right from wrong,
give a little whistle!
Taking the old song lyrics to heart, if inverting the intent a bit, police in the Chicago suburb of Oak Park have come up with a cunning plan to thwart crime:
Oak Park crime: Police pass out whistles to help residents fight back
Jump in burglaries and robberies prompts giveaway
Thousands of Oak Park residents are being equipped with a simple device to help fight crime in the village.
Police are passing out whistles that they are urging citizens to blow if they are victims of or witnesses to a crime.
Officers distributed hundreds of the shiny whistles at two stations along the CTA’s Green Line in Oak Park on Friday and will be passing out more Wednesday along the Blue Line. Giveaways elsewhere are expected to take place in the weeks ahead.
“We think they are going to go quick,” said Oak Park Police Cmdr. Keenan Williams.
The village conducted a similar program in the 1980s, and Police Chief Rick Tanksley earlier this year suggested bringing it back after statistics showed that burglaries and robberies were on the rise.
I’m sure that criminals will now flee Oak Park, in the face of this devastating new crime-fighting tool. I mean, they might actually have their hearing damaged, should a brave citizen use their police-issued whistle. And based on previous experience, and the complete eradication of crime in Oak Park following the last time this tactic was used . . .
. . . wait, what’s that? You mean crime wasn’t eliminated in Oak Park by the whistles last time? Huh. Maybe that would explain why this brilliant program hasn’t been put into effect in cities around the country.
Then why do it? Well, here’s another small bit from the Tribune article:
The village had about 3,000 whistles delivered at a cost of about 50 cents each, he said. The cost was paid by Community Bank, whose logo is on the side of each whistle.
I mean, I hate to be cynical or anything, especially this time of year, but it sure seems like nothing but an advertising gimmick to me. One backed by the boys in blue. I wonder who in the city government got what kind of special favor for that little trick?
Now, in all honesty, I do actually carry a whistle with me. No kidding. But when it comes to wanting a defense against crime, I’d prefer one of my concealed-carry pistols.
Except, of course, that that isn’t allowed in Illinois. Hmm.
Jim Downey
(Cross posted to UTI.)
So, last night I had to attend a “public information meeting” in my capacity as Lord High President of our Neighborhood Association. I got there a bit early, to do the usual schmooze with people, and we waited chatting in the lobby of the City building downtown. A bit before 5:30, we made our way up to the mezzanine office where the previous meeting was held, which was open and lit, and which is the only meeting room in the building I had ever used other than the formal (large) Council room.
Well, 5:30 comes (scheduled start time), and no sign of City staff or the applicant for the rezoning, I note. 5:35, and I check my postcard notification to confirm time & place. Wording on ‘place’ is a bit vague. I go wandering up to the P & Z offices, poke around until I find someone, and ask. Well, gee – seems that they’re using a “conference room” up there which isn’t readily obvious to the public (it is literally in the corner of the building, with no signage or ready access from the public corridors). So, I go downstairs, announce this, and lead everyone up to the correct location. I get a dirty look from the applicant’s attorney as one of the City staffers there thanks me for getting everyone to the right room and explains that this room is “sometimes used,” and that is why the wording on the postcard is such as it is. Right.
Gee, I cannot *imagine* that someone would move a meeting, leave no indication of it, and then close the public meeting once an ‘appropriate waiting period has passed’ and thereby avoid having to actually let people know what is going on. I’m sure that it was all just a harmless misunderstanding on our part.
But I’m glad I’m suspicious enough to go looking.
Jim Downey
I just do not understand the mindset that some people have.
OK, let me explain. Monday I posted an excerpt about our upcoming “Cylinder Gap” tests to several of the gun forums I frequent, because I thought it would be of interest to some people who hang out at such places. And, for the most part, that proved to be correct.
But one place I got a response from one guy who said “it’s already been done”. See, he had done these sorts of tests using one brand of revolver which allows you to adjust the cylinder gap, in both a smaller and a larger caliber than the .38/.357 we’re testing. And the difference wasn’t that big a deal. Oh, he had the data somewhere, but he didn’t have it readily available. There was no real reason for us to conduct the tests.
OK, so here’s a guy who tested something different than we did (different calibers, and I guess only one barrel length in each). And he never published the data, though he says he’ll dig it up. Nor did he document the process he used.
Doesn’t sound to me like “it’s already been done.”
Now, I don’t mean to single this guy out, and if you go looking for the post don’t mangle him for his comment. Well, not too badly, anyway. Because I’ve run into this kind of mindset a lot in regards to the BBTI project, both in posts I’ve seen online in various places and in private emails I’ve received. People who think that just because they have done something a bit similar, and drawn their own conclusions, that therefore there is no value in what we’ve done or are planning to do. It’s like they resent the very idea that someone else might do more than they did, either in scope or in results. And so they try and either claim that they had the idea for the project first, or did some part of it first/better, or just try and belittle the results.
This sort of thing happens all the time, not just regarding the BBTI project. You see it with people grousing about invention and innovation, about movies and books, about blog posts or government or relationships. They seem to think that just the idea is what matters, not any effort or final product to bring that idea into reality.
Thomas Edison famously said that “Genius is one percent inspiration, ninety-nine percent perspiration.” A related quote from him perhaps sums up my attitude even better:
I am much less interested in what is called God’s word than in God’s deeds. All bibles are man-made.
Yeah, that’s it.
Jim Downey
(Cross posted to UTI and BBTI blog.)
Communion Of Dreams 