Just a quick update to this post – last night I finished editing Chapter 5, and I’ve now trimmed out 8,436 words from Communion of Dreams. Since I wanted to get 10,000 a month, this puts me on track or even a little ahead.
It’s kind of fun, re-reading the book. And the editing hasn’t been too painful yet – mostly I have been just tightening dialogue and cutting out some of the explanatory material. I think I’ll add the revised text to the CoD homepage as an option, in case anyone wants to download it to see what changes I’ve made. If it is indeed accepted for publication, I’m not sure how long I’ll be able to keep that available online for free.
Oh, and I just checked – have had another 750 downloads of the book in less than a month. So that’s approaching 18,000. Cool.
Back to work . . .
Jim Downey
Filed under: Art, Comics, Publishing, Science Fiction, Space, Writing stuff
Sent a note to a friend, who had asked whether it is painful editing CoD:
Nah, I can be pretty ruthless when I need to be.
And it’s true. Unfortunately, when I get into the necessary detached and critical headspace for this kind of work, it tends to slop over into a lot of how I see everything. So, let’s just say my cynicism level is high, and rising.
But it is working. I’m through Chapter One and about 1/3 the way into Chapter Two, and have already cut out about 1,400 words. And after doing the preliminary read-through of the rest of Chapter Two, I can say that a lot more is going to come out of that. Stuff I like, but doesn’t really do much other than back-fill history – too much “explaining of the events and the technology”, as the readers from the publisher put it. So it’ll get the chop.
Like I said, ruthless.
But this is somewhat interesting: moon town. And hey, they have my Paint the Moon idea (which prompted my wife to send me the strip), so it can’t be all bad.
Back to work.
Jim Downey
Filed under: BoingBoing, Music, Predictions, Science, Science Fiction, tech, YouTube
. . . are almost endless:
Bare is a conductive ink that is applied directly onto the skin allowing the creation of custom electronic circuitry. This innovative material allows users to interact with electronics through gesture, movement, and touch. Bare can be applied with a brush, stamp or spray and is non-toxic and temporary. Application areas include dance, music, computer interfaces, communication and medical devices. Bare is an intuitive and non-invasive technology which will allow users to bridge the gap between electronics and the body.
Here’s one application:
Another step towards the tech from Communion, though I didn’t use it in quite that, um, way.
Jim Downey
Via BB.
What’s that? 10,000 *what* a month? Hits to the website? Downloads of the novel? What?
What it is is the number of words that I am going to try and whittle out of Communion of Dreams over the next two months.
Why should I mess with the absolute perfection of the finished text this way? Why should I slaughter a single word that has been carefully chosen and adopted through countless revisions?
Well, because there’s a publisher who likes the book. And in the comments I received from said publisher, who had four people read it in order to sort out what work needed to be done to get the book into shape for publication, they said this:
It is very well written, and the author is clearly capable of telling a great story. I am a firm believer that a book should be as long as needed, however, this manuscript is too long for the story. I have several notes in the beginning that there is too much explaining of the events and technology. The original hook in the book after an hour’s worth of reading is that a secret meeting has been called. Again, the last several chapters were great at building the pace – it is just that it takes too long to get there.
They said other things, too, but this is what the whole thing comes down to.
I sent the comments to several friends last week, and asked for their reaction. The consensus was that I should be able to tighten up the text to make the earlier part of the book move more quickly, without sacrificing too much information that the reader needs to have in order to understand the world I have created.
And I agree.
So, I have told the publisher that I will make some significant revisions, and shoot for trimming down the book by about 20,000 words (it is currently 132,500), primarily from the first part of the book. And that I think I should be able to accomplish this in the next couple of months, given my other obligations. Actually, I think I can probably do this a lot faster than that, but I do have a lot else on my plate right now so I want to leave myself plenty of room.
The question comes up: why haven’t I trimmed down the book before in this way, if I am ready to agree to the changes now?
Well, because some people like the extra material – they want the more complete information, they like the more literary pacing of the start of the book. Not everyone, of course – one of the more common comments I have gotten about the book is that the pacing is slow at first. Curiously, it seems that this divide breaks along age lines – younger readers just like a faster pace, seem happy to dive in and let the technological details sort themselves out with less explanation. Before I was willing to make these changes, I wanted to have a good reason to do so. And while the publisher won’t be able to make a final commitment until I provide a revised manuscript, this is a good enough reason.
So, I’m going to do it. And we’ll see what happens. But this is undoubtedly the most ‘movement’ I’ve had with the book in the two and a half years since I posted it online and started this blog.
It may mean less posting here from me – which I hope is a worthwhile trade-off, if it results in a published version of the novel.
Wish me luck.
Jim Downey
Filed under: 2nd Amendment, Art, Book Conservation, Failure, General Musings, Government, Guns, Humor, Predictions, Press, Publishing, RKBA, Science Fiction, Society
I’d mentioned previously that I had been up for consideration for appointment to the local Planning & Zoning Commission, but had been mercifully spared selection. Well, when it was my turn to interview for the position with the City Council, it wasn’t just before the Council and city staff – the local press was there. No surprise.
Anyway, earlier this week I got a phone call from a pleasant young man who writes for the MU student newspaper. He had been at the interview, and thought that I might be an interesting subject for an profile piece for a series they’re doing about local weirdos. No, strike that, let’s say “personalities”. Anyway, he asked if I would be willing to chat with him about myself.
“Sure,” I told him. “Let me send you some links for background information. Then you can decide whether you still want to do the piece, and how to approach it.”
This is what I sent him:
Righto. First, here are my own websites/blogs:
My professional site: Legacy Bookbindery
My novel: Communion of Dreams
My personal blog: CommunionBlog
A big ballistics-research project: Ballistics By The Inch
And the related blog: BBTI Blog
My ‘archive’ site: A Fine LineThat last one also contains all the columns I wrote for the Columbia Trib when I was doing that, under the “Art & Culture” heading.
A few years ago someone actually created a Wikipedia page on me (which I need to update): James Downey
Then there’s this forum I created for the Neighborhood Alliance effort in June.
And I’m one of the primary writers at this blog: Unscrewing The Inscrutable
Beyond that, you can search the archives at the Missourian, and the Tribune for stories which have been done about me/my businesses over the years. You might also look under “Legacy Art” or “Legacy Art & BookWorks”, which was the gallery I had downtown (where Slackers is now) for 8 years.
That should get you started. 😉
Thinking about it later, I came to the conclusion that perhaps my life hasn’t been a total waste to date. More than a bit . . . eclectic . . . perhaps, but not a total waste. That’s a good feeling.
Oh, I may have some news this weekend concerning getting Communion published.
Jim Downey
Who hasn’t dreamed of a chicken that can shoot lasers out of its eyes? I mean, really?
OK, for those who wonder what the vid is before watching it, from the source:
The Chickening is a video game about a chicken who shoots lasers. Out of his eyes. Flying pizza shot out of evil cat heads from Paris, France, Uranus have invaded Earth and transformed the President of The United States of Mexico, Robot Abraham Lincoln, into a piece of broccoli. From the center of the earth the Pentagon desperately dispatches their best agent: Agent 69-420 aka The Chickening. His mission: Destroy Everything and Save the Broccoli!
SAVE THE BROCCOLI!
Jim Downey
(OK, now I need some serious drugs to calm down from that . . .) (Oh, and: Via MeFi.)
No, I’m not kidding:
* “Robot Suit HAL” is a cyborg-type robot that can expand and improve physical capability.
* When a person attempts to move, nerve signals are sent from the brain to the muscles via motoneuron, moving the musculoskeletal system as a consequence. At this moment, very weak biosignals can be detected on the surface of the skin. “HAL” catches these signals through a sensor attached on the skin of the wearer. Based on the signals obtained, the power unit is controlled to move the joint unitedly with the wearer’s muscle movement, enabling to support the wearer’s daily activities. This is what we call a ‘voluntary control system’ that provides movement interpreting the wearer’s intention from the biosignals in advance of the actual movement. Not only a ‘voluntary control system’ “HAL” has, but also a ‘robotic autonomous control system’ that provides human-like movement based on a robotic system which integrally work together with the ‘autonomous control system’. “HAL” is the world’s first cyborg-type robot controlled by this unique Hybrid System.
* “HAL” is expected to be applied in various fields such as rehabilitation support and physical training support in medical field, ADL support for disabled people, heavy labour support at factories, and rescue support at disaster sites, as well as in the entertainment field.
Here’s what the Telegraph had to say:
Japanese ‘robot suit’ to help disabled
The suit, called HAL – or Hybrid Assistive Limb – is the work of Cyberdyne Corporation in Japan, and has been created to “upgrade the existing physical capabilities of the human body”.
* * *
People with physical disabilities, such as stroke-induced paralysis or spinal cord injuries, can hire the suit at a cost of Y220,000 (£1,370) per month, and Cyberdyne Corporation believes the technology can have a variety of applications, including in physical training and rehabilitation, adding extra “muscle” to heavy labour jobs, and even in rescue and recovery operations.
HAL can help the wearer to carry out a variety of every day tasks, including standing up from a chair, walking, climbing up and down stairs, and lifting heavy objects. The suit can operate for almost five hours before it needs recharging, and Cyberdyne Corporation says that it does not feel heavy to wear, because the robotic exoskeleton supports its own weight.
There’s even video (in Japanese, but you get the idea):
Now, I’ve written about these sorts of things before, but this one does seem to be an improvement over the other versions. And it is good that there is some actual competition, from a source which isn’t tied to the US military-industrial complex. What strikes me as particularly promising is the biosensors being used, picking up very subtle nerve impulses. Once you solve that problem, there is no longer either a learning-curve the user has to go through, nor a lag-time which they have to compensate for, making the use of this technology completely intuitive and natural.
Interesting. Very interesting.
Jim Downey
(Via MeFi.)
Filed under: 2nd Amendment, Ballistics, Feedback, Guns, Health, Marketing, Promotion, Publishing, RKBA, Science Fiction
Feeling better, though still not entirely over the gut-bug. But I thought I would share some numbers with you.
In the six or so weeks since the last update, another 1,500 people have downloaded Communion of Dreams, which puts the total number of downloads at 17,000. This makes me happy. And we have a small publisher who is interested in the book. Maybe.
In other number news, BBTI continues to get a lot of hits. July had over 100,000, and that puts the total so far at 1,126,943. This also makes me happy. Feedback generally on the whole project continues to be positive, though we’re always getting comments like this:
ANALYZING UR STATS for 9mm, KEL-TEC (which I own). Dont know when this study was done. looks like maybe mid ‘2008??? which is current enough to be relevant. However…> WRONG AMMO for analysis w/KEL-TEC. ANYTHING with a long barrel should ALWAYS use +P or +P+ to take advantage of – via specific brands at that. FEDERAL & SPEER ARENT right choice because they’re specifically designed for short-barrel. “Fps gain” would expectantly be marginal over short barrel.  CORBON might be close to reality – but this is only marginal. Would LOVE to see something like BUFFALO BORE or DOUBLE TAP +P/+P+ 124gr & 147gr put thru these. This is what I shoot all the time with it, and can only base “visual” on what I think… would bet its substantial “fps gains” over pistol barrel, then.Any chance of u updating ur chart to include some +P super-stuff specifically? Would even volunteer to send u a box or 2 of the BUffalo Bore if I could get a “yes” commitment from u!!
*sigh* Proof that, no matter what you do, somebody, somewhere, will bitch about it. It’s just the way people are.
But you can’t let that drive you nuts.
Too much. 😉
Jim Downey
(Cross posted to the BBTI Blog.)
The nasty bit of lower GI gak I mentioned earlier this week has been an ongoing joy since. Yes, I saw a doctor yesterday. No, it is nothing to worry about. Just a bug, probably viral, which has kept me more grumpy and less productive than usual.
But this news made me smile:
‘Alien’ prequel takes off
Ridley Scott attached to return as director
Twentieth Century Fox is resuscitating its “Alien” franchise. The studio has hired Jon Spaihts to write a prequel that has Ridley Scott attached to return as director.Spaihts got the job after pitching the studio and Scott Free, which will produce the film.
The film is set up to be a prequel to the groundbreaking 1979 film that Scott directed. It will precede that film, in which the crew of a commercial towing ship returning to Earth is awakened and sent to respond to a distress signal from a nearby planetoid. The crew discovers too late that the signal generated by an empty ship was meant to warn them.
Well, that last paragraph is a rather pathetic summation of the original film. Here’s the original trailer:
Which doesn’t explain much, granted, but sure captures the feeling a whole lot better.
Anyway, having Scott involved should be good for the project. We’ll see.
Jim Downey
(Via MeFi.)
Filed under: Apollo program, Failure, Government, NASA, Science Fiction, Society, Space
I mentioned the other day that I would provide some further recollections about the Apollo 11 landing and Moon walk, but yesterday after all other coverage of the event that I read and heard, I wasn’t really sure what to add. You can find a brief description of how I experienced that historic “small step” at UTI, if you’re interested.
But last night, after thinking about the whole thing a considerable amount, I decided to pop open the new NetFlix disc that arrived in the mail yesterday. Another in The Invaders! series I wrote about in June. And on it was an episode titled “Moonshot“.
Well, of course I had to watch it.
And I was . . . rather amazed.
Oh, it was the typical formula for the show: something happens that seems to indicate alien involvement, and the star of the show hears about it and comes to the site to investigate. There he meets up with someone else who has suspicions about the aliens, and together they try and thwart whatever evil plot is being cooked up (sometimes successfully, more often not – this is a series in which the good guys win at best marginal victories).
But this was different. Not because of the formula, or acting or anything. But because of *when* it first aired: April 18, 1967.
What is significant about that date? Well, because it was just three months following the Apollo 1 disaster. And the episode is all about how the aliens are killing off the astronauts selected for the first manned Moon mission.
I’d bet the episode was already “in the can” by the time of the Apollo 1 tragedy. Maybe not. But either way, it is rather astonishing that they decided to run the episode so soon after that event. Most people now don’t remember, or don’t appreciate, the impact that Apollo 1 had – it has been subsumed into the greater glory of the subsequent successful launches. But at the time, it was quite traumatic.
I’m just old enough to remember the series, as I mentioned in my June post. So I don’t remember any controversy around the airing of this particular episode. If anyone does and can shed some light on it, I would appreciate it.
Jim Downey
Communion Of Dreams 